Well, it's been a long time since I've updated this blog. Many things have happened, but the biggest thing that has happened is the arrival of our newest family member, Miss Annie Gray, born 10/24/2015, 2 weeks earlier than scheduled.
We're now into February, and things haven't changed since welcoming Arlo into the word.
THIS SHIT IS TOUGH.
Going from one kid to two is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life besides dealing with the loss of my parents, and if you truly know me, this speaks volumes about what we're dealing with right now. I love Annie more than I can explain, yet, I am so lost. So frustrated. Her smiles are absolutely beautiful and for the short time in which she decides to give those smiles, I am smitten beyond belief. My heart lurches forward and I feel so lucky to have her and be her mom. I see so many people in her eyes, her face... my dad, my mom, Geoff's Aunt Katie... and the way she looks at and loves Arlo is beyond anything I can describe. But we have ourselves another "high needs" baby. Some call it colic, some describe it as just having a " grumpy beast of a baby", but whatever it is, it's rough, and both Geoff and I are struggling. She won't nap unless she's being held. Sleeping at night equals her being up every hour, sometimes with screaming that we can't find a reason for. Geoff and I fight. We fight over who slept the most, who got the most sleep, and who deserves it the most. Poor Arlo isn't getting what he needs from us, and I think this is the worst part for me. My son, my heart and soul, feels slighted because mommy isn't 100 percent there for him anymore. I get it. I miss him so much. I miss our relationship before all the madness. I hope he doesn't grow up to resent me, Geoff, or Annie.
I'm divulging all this information because I think a lot of moms don't. They feel ashamed, they feel guilty, and I'm here to say that there are so many of us in the same boat, and that those feelings are a byproduct of the need to be "everything to everyone" and be good at it, by standards put in place by others. This need is, of course, ridiculous and if I may say so, dated and not a realistic goal of being a mother or a person in general. If a friend were to come to me with his/her feelings that resembled mine, I wouldn't think twice in saying " You're a great mom/dad. You're doing the best job, and I am here to support you. Let me know what I can do to help. " Because at least for me, that's what I need. Unconditional love and support.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Saturday, August 30, 2014
For Arlo
Dear Arlo,
We've learned a lot together, you and I. These past 4.5 years of cultivating each other's lives have entertained a tangled yarn ball of every emotion I've ever experienced, multiplied by 8. At times, I've felt I have been the ultimate warrior in shaping your identity. But more often, I have felt ( and still do) the fool.
Apparently that's what parenting is. Feeling, more often than not, that you really have no clue what you're doing, but doing it anyway.
As I head back into the workforce next week for the first time since the doctor wrestled you from my very oversized belly, I want you to know and fully understand how much the time I've spent at home with you has changed me. I am more of a fool than I was before, no doubt. Each year of being a parent makes me feel more and more confused. But I am also much more comfortable being a fool... meaning that I now possess the confidence to laugh at myself, which I didn't have before you were here. My confidence is the direct result of having you in my life. Your laughs, your screams, sleepless nights, power struggles, even your knock-knock jokes... everything you've ever done or experienced has been incredible, one way or another, and has significantly enhanced my life.
This next phase in our mother/son saga will be different. Not bad, just different. We'll both need to adjust to my work/life balance, and while I am obviously sad to be leaving this part of my life behind, I am truly excited to see how our relationship grows in other ways. I truly enjoy seeing you get older. I don't know many parents who say this, but I do. Your personality is unlike any other I've known. I love hearing you talk about dinosaurs and Canada and trains. I love watching you evolve as my determined, caring, dramatic,intelligent and quirky little man.
Mommy loves you more than anything else in the world, Arlo. Always.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
What's Next?
Arlo loves to know what's coming up next. He is my mother's grandchild for sure, and if I'm being honest here, I also thrive on knowing "what's next". I'm guessing this is a hereditary thing. From the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed, he is always asking about what will happen in the next portion of our day. And sometimes, I don't have an answer for either him OR myself.
I finally graduated with my MSW in April, and the " what's next" portion of my brain is very active. I've been a stay at home mom now for 4.5 years... much longer than I had ever envisioned. Part of me is amazed at how quickly time has passed, and part of me feels like it has been 20 years since I last had a job.
I'm now at a point where I really, really want to get back into the workplace and use my degree and skills to assist others. I mentioned to my husband this morning that I just feel flat. I don't feel like I'm doing anything to give back to the community, and this bothers me. So this afternoon I spent my time going through endless papers and documents from school and organizing them... so much so that when I was finished, I decided to start working on weeding out all of the random papers I have kept from my mom and dad's house. In doing this, I found a letter that my dad had kept in a folder entitled " keepers ". In this folder,there were a couple of sappy letters from me with a barrage of quotes from other people-- this is how I usually expressed myself as a teen/young adult. There were a few blank cards my dad had bought and never sent out, and then, a letter from my mom to me. On yellow lined paper, dated 3/21/79. I had read the letter with my mom many years ago, and she explained to me that she wrote it the night before she and my dad had ever left me alone with someone else for more than an evening. She explained that she wrote the letter in case anything had happened to them. I remember her laughing when she initially showed it to me- I was probably like 12 or so- but after seeing it then I never saw it again until now. As she was most certainly planning for what might be next, her words were anything but anxiety laden. They were calming and loving, and more evident of someone living in the moment than I think she ever realized. Her words are timeless, and without the anxiety of someone needing to know the what comes next. She writes:
" I hope your life is full of love and joy. I know that there will also be pain and disappointment and I only hope that this will make you a stronger person... if I could choose to give you all the qualities that would make you have a good life, I would want you to have the ability to be unselfish and know the feeling that comes from giving to another without thinking of yourself. I would want you to be able to risk your own sense of security in order to gain and grow from new experiences. I would want you to know what comes from loving and being loved... I would want you to feel the specialness and uniqueness of yourself."
So after reading this tonight, I know what's next. Being the person she wanted me to be.
I finally graduated with my MSW in April, and the " what's next" portion of my brain is very active. I've been a stay at home mom now for 4.5 years... much longer than I had ever envisioned. Part of me is amazed at how quickly time has passed, and part of me feels like it has been 20 years since I last had a job.
I'm now at a point where I really, really want to get back into the workplace and use my degree and skills to assist others. I mentioned to my husband this morning that I just feel flat. I don't feel like I'm doing anything to give back to the community, and this bothers me. So this afternoon I spent my time going through endless papers and documents from school and organizing them... so much so that when I was finished, I decided to start working on weeding out all of the random papers I have kept from my mom and dad's house. In doing this, I found a letter that my dad had kept in a folder entitled " keepers ". In this folder,there were a couple of sappy letters from me with a barrage of quotes from other people-- this is how I usually expressed myself as a teen/young adult. There were a few blank cards my dad had bought and never sent out, and then, a letter from my mom to me. On yellow lined paper, dated 3/21/79. I had read the letter with my mom many years ago, and she explained to me that she wrote it the night before she and my dad had ever left me alone with someone else for more than an evening. She explained that she wrote the letter in case anything had happened to them. I remember her laughing when she initially showed it to me- I was probably like 12 or so- but after seeing it then I never saw it again until now. As she was most certainly planning for what might be next, her words were anything but anxiety laden. They were calming and loving, and more evident of someone living in the moment than I think she ever realized. Her words are timeless, and without the anxiety of someone needing to know the what comes next. She writes:
" I hope your life is full of love and joy. I know that there will also be pain and disappointment and I only hope that this will make you a stronger person... if I could choose to give you all the qualities that would make you have a good life, I would want you to have the ability to be unselfish and know the feeling that comes from giving to another without thinking of yourself. I would want you to be able to risk your own sense of security in order to gain and grow from new experiences. I would want you to know what comes from loving and being loved... I would want you to feel the specialness and uniqueness of yourself."
So after reading this tonight, I know what's next. Being the person she wanted me to be.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Mother and Son
Today I had a downright amazing day with Arlo. We didn't do anything new, travel anywhere exotic or interesting, or encounter anything extraordinary. We traversed the mundane... yet had a blissful time doing so. It becomes inherent to me, in times like these, when I realize that with each day my child gets older, our mother/son relationship grows with reckless abandon, and I absolutely love it.
I look back at Arlo's earlier years with fond memories, but if I'm being honest, I don't always necessarily yearn to have them back again. Sure it was nice when I could cart him around to various places and not have to worry about him running off and disappearing into random clothing racks or the candy isle at Target. Of course I loved watching him learn to crawl and walk, and cherished many of the moments that I attempted to rock him to sleep at night. But I have decided that with increased age comes such incredible personality ... and with every morning I am so excited to encounter whatever new phrase he's going to repeat throughout the day, or what song on the radio he's going to either approve or disapprove of, his most recent obsession being the "banjo station" (aka Sirius Bluegrass).
While having lunch today, a little girl ran up to Arlo and began screaming " Hi, Arlo! Hi! Hi!" all the while twirling her hair and looking at him excitedly. His face went from his normal pale complexion to beet red in about 4 seconds. He smirked and said quietly " Hi, Sophia" and then hid his face. She ran off to her mother and Arlo continued to hide his face. I waited a few seconds and then asked him who the girl was, in which he replied " my friend who is a girl at school. Sophia." At that moment I felt really proud, and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I witnessed a key developmental phase in Arlo's growth, the " oh crap, I've been seen in public with my mother" phase, or maybe it was how happy the little girl was to see Arlo. In any case, seeing him grow and develop as a person is so amazing. His interactions with and thoughts about the world around him are incredible, and I feel so fulfilled accompanying him on his life journey.
I look back at Arlo's earlier years with fond memories, but if I'm being honest, I don't always necessarily yearn to have them back again. Sure it was nice when I could cart him around to various places and not have to worry about him running off and disappearing into random clothing racks or the candy isle at Target. Of course I loved watching him learn to crawl and walk, and cherished many of the moments that I attempted to rock him to sleep at night. But I have decided that with increased age comes such incredible personality ... and with every morning I am so excited to encounter whatever new phrase he's going to repeat throughout the day, or what song on the radio he's going to either approve or disapprove of, his most recent obsession being the "banjo station" (aka Sirius Bluegrass).
While having lunch today, a little girl ran up to Arlo and began screaming " Hi, Arlo! Hi! Hi!" all the while twirling her hair and looking at him excitedly. His face went from his normal pale complexion to beet red in about 4 seconds. He smirked and said quietly " Hi, Sophia" and then hid his face. She ran off to her mother and Arlo continued to hide his face. I waited a few seconds and then asked him who the girl was, in which he replied " my friend who is a girl at school. Sophia." At that moment I felt really proud, and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I witnessed a key developmental phase in Arlo's growth, the " oh crap, I've been seen in public with my mother" phase, or maybe it was how happy the little girl was to see Arlo. In any case, seeing him grow and develop as a person is so amazing. His interactions with and thoughts about the world around him are incredible, and I feel so fulfilled accompanying him on his life journey.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Survivors
I've always been a fan of the National Lampoon Vacation series. Chevy Chase's depiction of the clueless, giddy yet ultimately gracious and humbled family man is one of my favorites, and the underlying plot asserting Murphy' law of vacations that " if it can go wrong, it probably will in some fashion" rings true when reflecting on our recent initial full-family sojourn to Florida.
Before I go into the details of our trip which at times might err on the negative tip, I want to emphasize that we had a great time overall, and I mean that in all earnestness. We had a wonderful visit with Geoff's brother Mike and his fiance, Jessi, and this in itself was reason enough to travel to Orlando and encourage future trips.
Oh, and the wizarding world of Harry Potter was awesome as well.
Now, onto our Chevy Chase-esque adventure.
This was Arlo's first time as an air passenger, and he assumed the role like a pro. He navigated the airports with the ease of a pharmaceutical rep from Eli Lilly slinging Prozac, and was very calm during the flight. Well, the first flight. The flight back he was somewhat restless and at one point began to take his seatbelt off. Geoff and I were completely frazzled by that point in time and mentioned to him that the police " air marshals" would come and tell him to put his seatbelt on if he didn't listen to us, to which he very loudly exclaimed " BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL".
Once we arrived in Orlando, we disembarked our flight and had a little trouble locating our baggage claim area. Once we found it, I'm not sure what happened, but Arlo wasn't having any of it. He conveyed his frustrations through his many attempts to run away " MOMMY, IT'S HARRY POTTER AND MINIONS AND SHREK" ( after escaping my grasp and sprinting towards a poster for Universal Studios) , refusal to walk, and just generally not following instructions.
And it was H-O-T. Like camping that year at Deer Creek for Phish hot. But with luggage and a very tired 3 year old and many miles still yet to go. We got our car and set out for the hotel and we pretty much guessed our way to the hotel( Geoff has a great navigation sense). Once there ( NO thanks to Onstar) we all collapsed.
Next day we awoke and immediately got ready for what I thought was going to be our vacation "it" factor. Little did I know it would be more like our vacation "shit" factor... Through media and Disney stores and Disney junior and mass marketing etc etc I mistakenly thought that my kid would become the happiest kid on earth in the " happiest place on earth". I. was. SO. WRONG. In retrospect, I had encountered several telling reactions towards our " Disney demise"- most notably from a momma friend who would giggle nervously and look the other way when I would discuss our trip details with her.
So we got to the park early, as everyone else in the world apparently does. 18 dollars later, we walked to the entrance and made a beeline for the monorail. Arlo was pumped about riding the monorail, but when we got to the line to get on said monorail, IT WAS CLOSED. " Sorry folks, gotta ride the ferry!" exclaimed an overly chipper park attendant. This should have been our first sign to just turn around and go back, but we pressed on. Now about 8:45AM local time, I was already sweating buckets, waiting in line for this magical ferry. We were herded on board and smashed together like some theme park crazed sardines. Once off the ferry we encountered more difficulties getting into the park, as their finger ID system eluded Geoff and I. We were yelled at by the ticket guy " only one fingerprint per person!!"but were finally granted access to the " land of dreams and creativity". We rented a stroller and Arlo immediately began to cry even though we had just purchased a gold plated water fan thingy for him ( I say gold plated because the price indicated that it had some sort of value other than plastic and dirty water). Main street was packed already at 9:30 AM, and an eccentric crowd of over-eager mouse eared wanderers and enthusiasts were already scavenging and devising their plans for the day. We, however, managed to simply score a map and decided to just try and play it by ear. Apparently you can't do that at Disney world.
We started with a walk towards somethingorother. Fantasy land, Future world, something. I think they all start with the letter F. At any rate, Arlo threw a fit the entire walk towards the castle muttering something about being scared. Never did figure out what that was about. We walked towards whatever land houses the dumbo ride and the little mermaid stuff and attempted to take him out of his stroller and stand in line. He freaked out. Put him back in the stroller, walked him towards the race cars. Tried to stand in line for that. He started hitting and screaming, so back in the stroller he went ( sorry, i don't care if i'm at Disney world, if you throw a fit, you get a time out). Had him watch dumbo ride. Screamed and cried. Bought him a cookie, refused to eat it. Finally we decided to cut our losses and go back and sit somewhere for a few minutes. Geoff had to go to first aid for a huge cut on his foot, so we tried to watch a parade. Again, another epic fail. FINALLY we decided on embarking on the train that goes around the park, and that was a success. Oh, and I got my Dole Whip thing. That was cool.
We go back to the hotel ( our checkbook is now uncontrollably SOBBING with our costly mistake) and contact my brother-in-law and his fiance, who quickly come to our aid and whisk Arlo off for a few hours so that we can all take a breath and realize that Disney is not our thing, but we can still salvage this trip, which is what we did. The next few days were awesome. We went to Universal, which was much more our speed. Arlo enjoyed all the kiddie stuff and I pretended I was a student at Hogwarts. We went to dinner and had laughs playing in the pool. I think I saw the guy who played Jacob on LOST at whole foods. I finished my JK Rowling crime novel( which was excellent, BTW).
Most importantly, we SURVIVED our first real trip as a family of 3.
Before I go into the details of our trip which at times might err on the negative tip, I want to emphasize that we had a great time overall, and I mean that in all earnestness. We had a wonderful visit with Geoff's brother Mike and his fiance, Jessi, and this in itself was reason enough to travel to Orlando and encourage future trips.
Oh, and the wizarding world of Harry Potter was awesome as well.
Now, onto our Chevy Chase-esque adventure.
This was Arlo's first time as an air passenger, and he assumed the role like a pro. He navigated the airports with the ease of a pharmaceutical rep from Eli Lilly slinging Prozac, and was very calm during the flight. Well, the first flight. The flight back he was somewhat restless and at one point began to take his seatbelt off. Geoff and I were completely frazzled by that point in time and mentioned to him that the police " air marshals" would come and tell him to put his seatbelt on if he didn't listen to us, to which he very loudly exclaimed " BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO TO JAIL".
Once we arrived in Orlando, we disembarked our flight and had a little trouble locating our baggage claim area. Once we found it, I'm not sure what happened, but Arlo wasn't having any of it. He conveyed his frustrations through his many attempts to run away " MOMMY, IT'S HARRY POTTER AND MINIONS AND SHREK" ( after escaping my grasp and sprinting towards a poster for Universal Studios) , refusal to walk, and just generally not following instructions.
And it was H-O-T. Like camping that year at Deer Creek for Phish hot. But with luggage and a very tired 3 year old and many miles still yet to go. We got our car and set out for the hotel and we pretty much guessed our way to the hotel( Geoff has a great navigation sense). Once there ( NO thanks to Onstar) we all collapsed.
Next day we awoke and immediately got ready for what I thought was going to be our vacation "it" factor. Little did I know it would be more like our vacation "shit" factor... Through media and Disney stores and Disney junior and mass marketing etc etc I mistakenly thought that my kid would become the happiest kid on earth in the " happiest place on earth". I. was. SO. WRONG. In retrospect, I had encountered several telling reactions towards our " Disney demise"- most notably from a momma friend who would giggle nervously and look the other way when I would discuss our trip details with her.
So we got to the park early, as everyone else in the world apparently does. 18 dollars later, we walked to the entrance and made a beeline for the monorail. Arlo was pumped about riding the monorail, but when we got to the line to get on said monorail, IT WAS CLOSED. " Sorry folks, gotta ride the ferry!" exclaimed an overly chipper park attendant. This should have been our first sign to just turn around and go back, but we pressed on. Now about 8:45AM local time, I was already sweating buckets, waiting in line for this magical ferry. We were herded on board and smashed together like some theme park crazed sardines. Once off the ferry we encountered more difficulties getting into the park, as their finger ID system eluded Geoff and I. We were yelled at by the ticket guy " only one fingerprint per person!!"but were finally granted access to the " land of dreams and creativity". We rented a stroller and Arlo immediately began to cry even though we had just purchased a gold plated water fan thingy for him ( I say gold plated because the price indicated that it had some sort of value other than plastic and dirty water). Main street was packed already at 9:30 AM, and an eccentric crowd of over-eager mouse eared wanderers and enthusiasts were already scavenging and devising their plans for the day. We, however, managed to simply score a map and decided to just try and play it by ear. Apparently you can't do that at Disney world.
We started with a walk towards somethingorother. Fantasy land, Future world, something. I think they all start with the letter F. At any rate, Arlo threw a fit the entire walk towards the castle muttering something about being scared. Never did figure out what that was about. We walked towards whatever land houses the dumbo ride and the little mermaid stuff and attempted to take him out of his stroller and stand in line. He freaked out. Put him back in the stroller, walked him towards the race cars. Tried to stand in line for that. He started hitting and screaming, so back in the stroller he went ( sorry, i don't care if i'm at Disney world, if you throw a fit, you get a time out). Had him watch dumbo ride. Screamed and cried. Bought him a cookie, refused to eat it. Finally we decided to cut our losses and go back and sit somewhere for a few minutes. Geoff had to go to first aid for a huge cut on his foot, so we tried to watch a parade. Again, another epic fail. FINALLY we decided on embarking on the train that goes around the park, and that was a success. Oh, and I got my Dole Whip thing. That was cool.
We go back to the hotel ( our checkbook is now uncontrollably SOBBING with our costly mistake) and contact my brother-in-law and his fiance, who quickly come to our aid and whisk Arlo off for a few hours so that we can all take a breath and realize that Disney is not our thing, but we can still salvage this trip, which is what we did. The next few days were awesome. We went to Universal, which was much more our speed. Arlo enjoyed all the kiddie stuff and I pretended I was a student at Hogwarts. We went to dinner and had laughs playing in the pool. I think I saw the guy who played Jacob on LOST at whole foods. I finished my JK Rowling crime novel( which was excellent, BTW).
Most importantly, we SURVIVED our first real trip as a family of 3.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Life with Arlo Review
I'm embarrassed that I haven't written much at all in the last year- writing used to be my " go to" therapy, but as I write so much for school, I've slacked off immensely. So here's an update of my life with Arlo and a break from the recent norm of journal writing and trying to use APA format correctly:
-I never knew I could love someone so very much. Arlo is so funny, so creative, so happy. I see a great deal of my eccentricities in him and a lot of Geoff's determination and strength. This kid is my entire world.
- We're still heavily into Thomas the Train. I guess it's better than being into Calliou, cause man, I can't stand Calliou. Thomas and friends may be irritating at times, but at least the narrators of the Thomas series are folks like Ringo Starr, Alec Baldwin and George Carlin. That's a win in my book.
- Arlo just finished his first year of "school" with Creative Tots here in Cincinnati. He had a great year and I am pleased with how much his confidence has grown just within the last few months.
- Potty training: Meh. Work in progress.
- Arlo's new favorite song is " Runaway Jim" by Phish.
- We'll be doing the Disney vacation this summer. Not sure if we're ready or not, but I felt like since I've been so busy with school and Geoff with work that a nice Arlo-centered vacation was in order before fall semester starts and bulldozes family time. We'll be visiting with Geoff's brother and his fiance who live in the Orlando area, and Arlo is very excited about this as are Geoff and I.
- Geoff's parents, otherwise known as " Grammaw and Paw-Paw" continue to be a positive, amazing force in Arlo's life. They provide constant, consistent support and love for Arlo and I am so thankful that they are so active in his day-to-day life. I honestly don't know what we would do without them. Words consistently fail me when talking about how important they are to Arlo as well as Geoff and I.
- We've decided ( for now) to stay in our current home and update it instead of moving. School district is great and the locale is superb. If it ain't broke...
- We're all still missing mom and dad. It's hard not to, especially as Arlo gets older and starts asking questions like " Where are Gram and Duke?" and " why can't I go see Gram and Duke?" But I know they are somewhere watching over us, no doubt laughing at my parenting fails and Arlo's hilarious nature. We sold their house to a family with twins- and while I constantly debate my decision to sell, I know it was the right thing to do. Another family needed to inhabit that house and provide it with love and memories, just as my family did.
That's all for now- I hope to write more before the summer ends and fall begins.
Much Love,
Laura Beth
-I never knew I could love someone so very much. Arlo is so funny, so creative, so happy. I see a great deal of my eccentricities in him and a lot of Geoff's determination and strength. This kid is my entire world.
- We're still heavily into Thomas the Train. I guess it's better than being into Calliou, cause man, I can't stand Calliou. Thomas and friends may be irritating at times, but at least the narrators of the Thomas series are folks like Ringo Starr, Alec Baldwin and George Carlin. That's a win in my book.
- Arlo just finished his first year of "school" with Creative Tots here in Cincinnati. He had a great year and I am pleased with how much his confidence has grown just within the last few months.
- Potty training: Meh. Work in progress.
- Arlo's new favorite song is " Runaway Jim" by Phish.
- We'll be doing the Disney vacation this summer. Not sure if we're ready or not, but I felt like since I've been so busy with school and Geoff with work that a nice Arlo-centered vacation was in order before fall semester starts and bulldozes family time. We'll be visiting with Geoff's brother and his fiance who live in the Orlando area, and Arlo is very excited about this as are Geoff and I.
- Geoff's parents, otherwise known as " Grammaw and Paw-Paw" continue to be a positive, amazing force in Arlo's life. They provide constant, consistent support and love for Arlo and I am so thankful that they are so active in his day-to-day life. I honestly don't know what we would do without them. Words consistently fail me when talking about how important they are to Arlo as well as Geoff and I.
- We've decided ( for now) to stay in our current home and update it instead of moving. School district is great and the locale is superb. If it ain't broke...
- We're all still missing mom and dad. It's hard not to, especially as Arlo gets older and starts asking questions like " Where are Gram and Duke?" and " why can't I go see Gram and Duke?" But I know they are somewhere watching over us, no doubt laughing at my parenting fails and Arlo's hilarious nature. We sold their house to a family with twins- and while I constantly debate my decision to sell, I know it was the right thing to do. Another family needed to inhabit that house and provide it with love and memories, just as my family did.
That's all for now- I hope to write more before the summer ends and fall begins.
Much Love,
Laura Beth
Saturday, October 20, 2012
I Made a Playlist
I made an awesome playlist recently, to chronicle my youth in Bowling Green the best way I could. Well, I think it's awesome. I tried to take all the songs that made me think about my youth and put them into one list... and needless to say, it's pretty random. From NKOTB to the Fresh Prince to Weezer to my love of musicals... I think it gives the unknowing listener a very personal glimpse into who I was as a kid/teenager/young adult living in a small southern town. After listening to it for the first time, I started to think about who my influences were as far as who introduced me to certain artists and albums. I realized that at least half of everything I listened to from Jr. High on I began listening to at my best friend's house as we "borrowed" most of her older brother's albums when he was conveniently out of the house, or in the car when he was driving us around town and needed to drown us out. ( I still have no idea why he would want to drown us out. We were/are awesome.)
Pre-Jr. High I think a lot of what I listened to was what my parents were into. I kept the giant German wardrobe thingy that they kept their records and turntable in( thanks for moving that, Craig and Geoff:)). Lots of Simon and Garfunkel, Gordon Lightfoot, Don McClean, James Taylor, Billy Joel, John Denver... and then of course you have the commonplace pre-teen jams by folks like Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, etc... I still remember calling the radio station to request a song so I could record it. Oh, and buying "singles" so I didn't have to buy the whole album.
Big hitters on the list: R.E.M., They Might Be Giants, 10,000 Maniacs, Indigo Girls... These are the bands I hope my son discovers in 10 years or so and asks me " hey mom, did you ever listen to( fill in the blank)." I will proudly shout "YES!" and fervently dig up my antiquated cassette tapes and Cds, and we will spend a weekend soaking in the somewhat angst-ish musical tastes mommy preferred when she was "young". ( Geoff will have his own weekend in which they listen to Jane's Addiction. I will be out of town that weekend.)
Some of these songs just scream " teenage Laura in age-appropriate boy crisis", and I think it's hilarious. I can still see myself listening to some of these tunes, sitting in my room, wondering how in the world artists such as the Rolling Stones, Simon and Garfunkel, Edie Brickell, the Indigo Girls, and Tori Amos could have written songs that were about MY EXACT SITUATION.
And then there's Steve Winwood.
I love Mr. Winwood. Born from earlier roots of Traffic and Blind Faith, this guy is one of my favorite artists. I saw him play with Ricky Skaggs and KY Thunder in Telluride years ago, and their onstage collaboration of " That's The Way it Is" ( which is STILL not on an album yet :/) was probably THE highlight of my live music sojourn thus far. But his song " Back in the High Life" will forever remind me of living in Bowling Green. I'm pretty sure WKU did a campaign for the college (primarily focusing on the athletic department)that featured this song in a commercial on both the TV and radio... and every time I hear it, I'm transported back. Back to my mom/dad's car, the mall, basketball/football games, Halloween, Christmas, Bowling Green in general. I'm transported back to all of it, into a nice little slide show in my brain.
A good friend of mine also put together a "BG" playlist recently, and although his memories were more focused on Jr. High on, it's funny how many of the same songs/artists we both included without consulting one another beforehand. It's obvious my friends were very influential on who and what I listened to, and for this I am very thankful. Music makes my life, and this playlist has certainly helped me to remember it fondly.
Pre-Jr. High I think a lot of what I listened to was what my parents were into. I kept the giant German wardrobe thingy that they kept their records and turntable in( thanks for moving that, Craig and Geoff:)). Lots of Simon and Garfunkel, Gordon Lightfoot, Don McClean, James Taylor, Billy Joel, John Denver... and then of course you have the commonplace pre-teen jams by folks like Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, etc... I still remember calling the radio station to request a song so I could record it. Oh, and buying "singles" so I didn't have to buy the whole album.
Big hitters on the list: R.E.M., They Might Be Giants, 10,000 Maniacs, Indigo Girls... These are the bands I hope my son discovers in 10 years or so and asks me " hey mom, did you ever listen to( fill in the blank)." I will proudly shout "YES!" and fervently dig up my antiquated cassette tapes and Cds, and we will spend a weekend soaking in the somewhat angst-ish musical tastes mommy preferred when she was "young". ( Geoff will have his own weekend in which they listen to Jane's Addiction. I will be out of town that weekend.)
Some of these songs just scream " teenage Laura in age-appropriate boy crisis", and I think it's hilarious. I can still see myself listening to some of these tunes, sitting in my room, wondering how in the world artists such as the Rolling Stones, Simon and Garfunkel, Edie Brickell, the Indigo Girls, and Tori Amos could have written songs that were about MY EXACT SITUATION.
And then there's Steve Winwood.
I love Mr. Winwood. Born from earlier roots of Traffic and Blind Faith, this guy is one of my favorite artists. I saw him play with Ricky Skaggs and KY Thunder in Telluride years ago, and their onstage collaboration of " That's The Way it Is" ( which is STILL not on an album yet :/) was probably THE highlight of my live music sojourn thus far. But his song " Back in the High Life" will forever remind me of living in Bowling Green. I'm pretty sure WKU did a campaign for the college (primarily focusing on the athletic department)that featured this song in a commercial on both the TV and radio... and every time I hear it, I'm transported back. Back to my mom/dad's car, the mall, basketball/football games, Halloween, Christmas, Bowling Green in general. I'm transported back to all of it, into a nice little slide show in my brain.
A good friend of mine also put together a "BG" playlist recently, and although his memories were more focused on Jr. High on, it's funny how many of the same songs/artists we both included without consulting one another beforehand. It's obvious my friends were very influential on who and what I listened to, and for this I am very thankful. Music makes my life, and this playlist has certainly helped me to remember it fondly.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)