Sunday, May 23, 2010

Ah, Separation...

Methinks we have some separation anxiety going on. It's about that time- it begins around 6-9 months. I'm thinking this because when I put him down to bed( drowsy, but not asleep) he screams like a banshee when I leave the room. The moment I go back in, he smiles and jumps around like he wants to play a game of racquetball or something, despite the fact that 10 minutes earlier he couldn't keep his eyes open. God, I hear so much advice on how to curb this and sometimes I think that I should just stop reading shit and do what I feel is best. Let them cry it out, don't... I don't know. Personally, I can't stand to hear him cry. I can let him "fuss" it out... or "talk" it out.... but crying--shrieking really-- I can't just let him go. And it's not because I'm afraid he'll get some kind of attachment disorder. I know better. I just hate hearing him get so worked up and upset. I end up feeling like a complete ass for just standing there and letting him wail.

I borrowed a book from a friend-- the Healthy sleep habits happy child one-- and there are "warnings" in the book that really alarm me. One says that if your child is a horrible sleeper now he'll be more likely to be addicted to sleeping pills as an adult. WHAT???? Another said that if your child was "colicky" and a difficult sleeper that they will be more likely to have mental health issues as an adolescent and will be more prone to have ADHD. I honestly stopped reading after I saw that. I just couldn't take it seriously anymore.

There has to be some other way to do this. I have tried creating a transitional object for him but that hasn't taken flight as of yet. I have a routine. I know his cues. Maybe it just takes time. For now, though, it's rough going in the sleep department.


Gillian said...

Jack didn't sleep well til he was a year old. I felt a lot of guilt as a parent about that - like I was doing something wrong and harmful for both of us - but I've let it go.

Sleep issues are hard, says the insomniac pregnant lady, but I think you're right to just do what feels right to you!

Mandy said...

my lowest point (so far) was when i was reading every parenting book i could get my hands on. it made me feel completely lost, and like i failure. i stopped reading, trusted myself and my baby, and have never looked back. things aren't perfect, but we are happy. trust yourself, be gentle with any teaching/training you try on arlo, and are doing a wonderful job!!

Sarah (and Henry!) Thomsen said...

Gimme my book back!! heheheh
With Henry, I took advice here and there from various books and friends and then we kind of handled things "our way". There is NO book out there that you are going to agree with 100%. I know how hard it is to hear your bubba cry-it is extra horrible at night when the rest of the world is quiet. It will get better. That time goes by SO FAST you will BLINK and it will be his 1st birthday. By then you will have forgotten just how hard it was and you'll be thinking about doing it all over again :P