I've come to the conclusion that my son is going to be an excellent poker player. At almost six months, he's already as good of an illusionist as Phil Ivey, is as hard to read as Doyle Brunson, and has the temper of the "poker brat" himself, Phil Helmuth. I will now illiustrate his gambling prowess by likening his naptime antics to one hand of Texas Hold Em', heads up style-- Mommy vs. Arlo. Just imagine Mike Sexton and Vince Van Patton commentating.
Mike: Well Vince, we're down to the last two standing, Mommy Davin and Arlo Stewart. Should be interesting.
Vince: Yes, Mike, they've both been playing a pretty solid game, although the dealer has had to change decks several times due to Arlo's excessive drool problem. Isn't that a violation of some kind?
Mike: Well, Vince, that's why he's a pro.
[dealer deals cards(mommy sits down with Arlo and bottle)]
Mike: Mommy D's checking out her cards(beginning to give Arlo a bottle and seeing signs of sleepiness). I'm seeing a pair of Aces, Vince. Looking good already for her. She raises to 20,000.
Vince: Let's see what Arlo has to work with. Wow, Mike. A pair of nines. Not looking good for the Drool King. But... he calls. Bold move. (Arlo opens eyes up very wide and begins to play with bottle)
Mike: Let's see the flop-- and holy cow, would you look at that? Two nines and an ace . This doesn't look good for Mommy D.( Arlo is almost finished with bottle and is still awake but drowsy) She's staring him down, Vince, but he's showing no signs of excitement( Arlo lays still). Mommy D. raises another 20,000.
Vince: And once again, Arlo calls. He knows he's got the best hand. ( Arlo "appears" asleep)
Mike: and on the turn is a deuce. No help to Mommy D. She checks.( puts pacifier in Arlo's mouth)
Vince: Arlo checks as well. He's slow playing her. ( Arlo sighs as if he is content and asleep)
Mike: and the river is... a queen. Arlo's got four of a kind-- let's watch and see how Mommy D plays this one.
Vince: She's going all in, Mike. She feels like she's got him beat( Mommy puts arlo in crib)
Mike: Here we go, Arlo calls.... ( opens eyes as soon as he is put in the crib and begins to giggle and laugh) and turns over his cards. Mommy D is NOT happy, Vince. Not happy at all. Arlo is truly a master at this game.